Hi my name is Maggie Joe Hernandez, and I am broke AF. Guess who isn’t? Tweens. You heard me right. Kids starting at the age of five are raking in the big bucks doing nothing more than ranting about their personal lives and opening boxes full of free products. There’s just one catch- you have to do it on camera. YouTube is quickly becoming a hot new career choice for millennials and beyond, employing thousands of people by simply allowing them to upload whatever content they please.
I personally started watching YouTube for the DIY tutorials. My interest peaked when I found a channel titled “TheSorryGirls” where a couple of cute canadians make trendy home accessories for very little money. After a few DIYs here and a few DIYs there, I stumbled upon a video of two gals moving into their new apartment. In one scene, they unbox a giant stack of free things sent to them by Best Buy. This included not only electronics but pots, pans, a toaster oven, fun new lighting options, a speaker system, even a brand new fucking Dyson. My dream! All of this just because they can glue a few planks of wood together and create “Plant Nook Goals.” And it doesn’t end with them. Thousands of YouTubers are sponsored everyday and sent truckloads of free products. Video games, makeup, skincare, toys. It’s honestly endless. All they have to do is upload an “unboxing” video that lets us poor kids fall into an obsessive cage of envy until we eventually cave and whip out our wallets.
One of YouTube’s biggest stars is 6 year-old Ryan from the channel “Ryan ToysReview”, and he is – not kidding – a millionaire. A 6 year old millionaire. His mother posts a video every single day of him playing with brand new toys, eating candy… basically living every normal kids dream. (See pictured below Ryan dipping chocolate into chocolate). Yet, his videos have pulled over six billion views, making his channel one of the most viewed of all time, which begs the question- who the fuck is watching this? The ad revenue adds up with every click, and his videos have pulled in millions of dollars (7.5 million to be exact), which has allowed Ryan’s mother to quit her job and pursue YouTube full time. If this is one of the joys of motherhood that I’ve heard so much about, I’m having a child TOMORROW.
I’ve come to realize that working in YouTube has absolutely nothing to do with actual content and everything to do with “what’s hot.” So why not go out there and post a video? Shout out some big corporations, who knows what’ll come out of it. If you are semi-witty and have access to peppy stock music, you are only a few steps away from a box of free crap showing up on your doorstep and a fatty check in the mail. Don’t waste your time on a college degree, start young. Better get cracking!
Would you quit your day job to become a YouTube star? Tweet @StarterNoise.
Maggie Joe is a recent graduate from the University of Colorado at Boulder where she got her BFA in filmmaking and creative writing. Her long term goals would be writing and directing her own television series, along with self publishing a book of poetry. On any given day you can find Maggie shopping for new skincare at TJ Maxx, preaching feminism at frat boys, and senselessly binge watching whatever is playing on TLC.